~dee21416

So, it has been awhile since I have actually posted anything here on DA. I have still been visiting regularly to see everyone else's work, but I have not been in the mood to post any myself. Well.....I'm back!! For now anyways. I took the time to get 11 pics ready to post about a week ago, and just now got around to posting them. I am not going to say they are great, but I am happy with them. I have been taking more pictures lately, but I just seem to be stuck in a rut. I can't find anything I am really excited to photograph. I know it will pass eventually, but I miss the time I spent with my camera. So I am hoping to get more up within the next couple weeks, but I make no promises. I will be camping the week after next, so I'm hoping I will find something there that sparks my interest.

I hope you all are well!!!

I truly appreciate all of the kind words and thoughts during the sad times we recently had. I am amazed at how wonderful everyone in this community is. It has gotten much easier over the passing weeks.

I have gone through the thousands of pictures I have of Cody (I used burst mode a lot) and we decided to make a scrap book in his memory. I found that I don't cry when looking at them as much anymore, instead I smile or laugh at the memory of when I took the picture. The only thing that saddens me is that I do not have one single picture of me with my beloved Cody. I have many of him and my husband and others, but not one of me. While it does bother me, it also reminds me that I snapped every one of those shots, so I was there, and that makes me a little happier. But I do still wish I had at least one.

My husband and I decided to get another puppy. Though we didn't want to "replace" Cody and Mocha, we just didn't feel right without a dog around. So, we made the decision to go for it. We got Hugo, a very pretty six month old black lab mix. He was a pretty good dog, but he was a rescue dog and had some bad habits. Normally I would be fine with breaking bad habits, but the biggest one was that he did not like men. This was pretty hard on my husband and my father in law who lets our dog out every day at lunch. My father in law took Cody's passing just as hard as we did. It was a hard decision, but I just didn't feel that we were a good fit for Hugo, so I called the rescue group and took him back. We did not even have him for one week.

I started to feel like it was just too soon. But then my husband found an ad in the paper for some Golden Retriever puppies. I was hesitant, but decided to go and look. My biggest thing was if I didn't feel a connection with the puppy, we would not take one. Well, I fell in love the second we pulled up and saw them. We knew then that we just couldn't have any dog other than a Golden.

So, now we have a 3 month old Golden Retriever named Chewy and he is a joy in our life. We find ourselves calling him Cody from time to time because he looks so much like him. But, luckily he doesn't understand why we call him that and will even respond to it sometimes. I have many pictures of him already and plan on posting some soon.

We forgot what it was like to have a puppy and soon found that our house was not "puppy proof" anymore. While we decided on Chewy because my husband wanted Chewbacca, it is fitting as he chews on everything and anything around. We are constantly pulling stuff out of his mouth even when his toys are right in front of him.

So, after an incredibly horrible few weeks, we are finally on the road to very happy life with our new puppy!!

Thank you again to everyone for all of their support, we really do appreciate it!!

(mood is not supposed to be Shitty, but I can't seem to change it right now)

So, as you may have read before in my April 18th journal, we lost our beloved Cody Bear, our golden retreiver, three weeks ago. However, there is more to the story that was not included in my previous journal entry. So, here's the rest of the story.

*******I GIVE FAIR WARNING, IF YOU ARE EASILY SICKENED BY TALK OF BAD INJURIES, OR TALK ABOUT EYES, DO NOT READ ON!!!!! *******


My sister has a Yorkie, Mocha, and since she is living in an apartment that doesn't allow animals, Mocha had been staying at our mother's house. However, my mother has a pug/chiwawa mix, Wally, who Mocha was very jealous of. They got along pretty well, but the two together were constantly barking (yipping) and fighting over toys. So we offered to bring Mocha to our house about a month ago to find out if he would get along with Cody. Since we have previously had Mocha stay with us, we knew he would get along fine with our cats, but he had never met Cody, so we were unsure on that.

So 3 1/2 weeks ago, we brought Mocha over for a night to see if they would get along. Everything seemed fine until bedtime when Mocha tried to take one of Cody's rawhide bones. We didn't actually get to see what happened, but we do know that Mocha started yelping like crazy and would not come to me. Once I finally got ahold of him, I managed to get a look at him by lifting the hair over his eyes and all I saw was lots of blood.

I called out to my husband that we had to go to the ER Vet. He came in and I said look at his eye, he lifted the hair over Mocha's eye and said where's the phonebook, we need to verify the address. So we headed down to the ER Vet and I soon found out what my husband already saw, Mocha's eye had popped out of the socket. The ER Vet said they could take Mocha into surgery that night to put the eye back in the socket and stich his eyelids shut to allow time to heal. We went forward with it, knowing that he may never see from that eye again and that there was a real possibility that the eye would have to be removed some day.

Two days later, Cody passed away. So a few days later we brought Mocha back to our house because he had a cone on his head to keep him from scratching his eye and it was causing a little trouble with Wally. We took Mocha for his follow up appointment and they said they wanted to wait a few days before removing his stiches. After he did have the stiches removed, we were given some drops and creme to put in his eye twice a day for a week because he had an ulcer on his eye about the size of a pencil tip.

We went for his follow up a week later, this Monday, and the Vet said that the ulcer grew and now covers half of his eye. The Vet advised that we go forward with removing the eye now, rather than attempting to treat the ulcer that was causing an extreme amount of pain. We made the decision to go forward with the surgery as it was the best option for Mocha. The vet called me at work to let me know that after the surgery was completed, and Mocha was in recovery, he stopped breathing. The Vet tried to bring him back and were unable to.

So, now we have lost two dogs in under 3 weeks. So while I thought the day we lost Cody was the hardest day of my life, I was proven wrong on Monday, because the day we lost Mocha was twice as hard because it was as if we lost Cody all over again.

So please excuse my random and short visits to DA going forward as I have had a very rough month and have not been in much of a picture taking mood.

So...... I can't find the words to explain how I am feeling today, but my husband managed to sum everything up perfectly on an online forum for pet cancer. I have placed his words below. It is long, and I apologize for that, but you really should read all of it.

6982.1
Hi everybody. This is going to be long, but it is something I have to get out of my system this morning.
I had posted earlier about my 2 year old golden that I had been diagnosed with leukemia and what to expect in the coming days and what there can be done to cure it.
He had been sick now for about 6 weeks and I had not got the word that it was leukemia until last Thursday. He was just thought to have a sever infection that was healing well, but not well enough.
Since last Friday he has been extremely lethargic with his energy level dropping day by day it seems. By Wed night, I would let him outside, he would do his thing and then just wanted to lay on the patio in the back yard. I actually had to carry him into the house because he was weak and did not want to come in.
So I talked to my Onco Wed night and he had me check his temp (101.5) and I told him that Cody was breathing heavy and that I wanted him to be checked again on Thursday. So an appointment was made for yesterday at 2.
I was going to go and look at a job I am bidding and on my way to this job site I had this urge to go home and take a pain pill as my knee was all of a sudden hurting pretty bad. So I swung into the house, let the dog out, took my pain pill and when I let the dog back in he just had this sad look to his face. I laid on the floor with him for about 10 min just petting him and trying to get him to calm down as he seemed to be more nervous that usual, so I reassured him that when I got back we would be going to the vet and see what is going on.
My father has came over every day since we got him to let him out at noon. He can make it all day without being let out fine, but that is just something that my father enjoyed doing. They had their ritual. I called my father and said don’t worry about letting the dog out as I would be home early in the afternoon to go to the vet.
So I go out and do my jobsite walk through and figured what the heck I still have some time to kill so rather than go back to the office and then back home I would just swing back home and waste some time before we had to go to the vet.
Now before I had left Cody was laying underneath the table (his favorite spot) and when I opened up the door there he was laying on his dog bed with no life left in him, he had passed on sometime in the hour and a half I was gone. Cancer had finally got the best of him. He was a month away from his 2nd birthday. It looked like he just curled up on his bed and went to sleep. He looked at peace finally, no more sad look, no look as if he was just drained.
I lost it. I called my wife and said you need to get home NOW. Then I called my parents and said you have to come over here Cody has passed on.
I stood outside just crying my eyes out thinking this is not fair, he is too young to die. I had a rush of emotions going through my head such as what could I have done different, why did I not ask to check for cancer earlier, I felt as if I had let my buddy down.
Now I am not a religious person by any means. Me and the man up there have our own agreement between us and I remembered the night before having my chat with God saying that if Cody is getting as bad as it seems, please take him at home and not make me have to decide whether or not to put him down. Well I got my wish and for a moment I seemed to be at peace with the situation.
My parents finally got there and my father gave me a hug and told me he loved me for the first time since my wedding day 3 years ago. He was trying to hold back the tears and the pain also and he seemed to be the “Rock” at that moment, strong and reasonable.
My wife finally got home and she just ran into the house crying out why, why, why and she embraced Cody and laid on the floor with his peaceful body for what seemed like forever. After letting my wife have some time alone, I could finally go into the house and do the same. I could not bring myself to go back into the house until my wife was there with me.
After about 20 minutes of laying on the floor and just holding Cody, we went outside to think about what to do next and clear our heads a little and my father asked me what I wanted to do with his body. He said “I am not going to tell you what to do, but I would like to see him cremated and then you can have him with you again in spirit.” We both agreed on this and my father said he would bring Cody to the vet and have everything taken care of. I told my wife to go in and say her final goodbyes. Before we took him to the truck my wife said wait a minute. She went and got his favorite toy, a stuffed cow that was missing the stuffing, head and squeaker. I grabbed a tennis ball and a chew bone and set it between his paws. We both agreed that he needed to have his favorite toys with him for his journey into the afterlife.
We brought him to the truck and Dad said Cody is going to ride in the front seat, as he LOVED car rides. After we set him in there on he just looked like he was riding in the car taking a nap. My father left and made his way to the vet’s office which is an hour away. I called down to the vets office to let them know what was going on and thanked them for all they had done up to this point and that I appreciated all the compassion and caring they had shown my dog. They had seen him from the day that we got him, until his now final day. Later on my father told me that when he got there all the vets had come out to help bring Cody in. Every one of them knew that dog, and every one of them shed a tear for him.
My wife and me were just numb by that point, we could not shed anymore tears and both of us agreed that we needed to leave and just go for a ride together. We drove around for about 3 hrs, then when we got back to town still did not want to go home yet. So we did what seemed right and went to the bar and spent time with our family and friends. So many people got us sympathy cards and flowers, as they knew how much this dog meant to us. We do not have any kids yet so Cody was our baby for the time being. It was hard to hold back the tears all night but we managed to do so for the most part.
Finally it was time to go home. Neither one of us wanted to do it, we thought hey lets just get a hotel room for the night, but we both knew we had to do it eventually and face the reality of what happened. We stood outside the door for about 10 minutes before going through the door. I opened the door and there were not 2 eyes and a wagging tail waiting for me, just my 2 cats meowing. We both lost it and stood in the dining room right where Cody had passed on and held each other.
When we finally gained our composure we went into the living room to pay some attention to the cats, as they had been ignored pretty much all day. Finally, both of us purely drained and exhausted, had to try and get some sleep.
As we laid in bed I kept looking towards the door expecting to see Cody laying there protecting the room, and he was not there. It took a long time to fall asleep last night and I did not sleep well at all. Every time I would wake up I was hoping that I was just having a bad dream and I would listen for Cody breathing….but he was not there.
My morning routine was so messed up today for me. I usually get out of bed and as soon as my feet hit the floor I have a dog looking at me as to say “Ok lets go outside now.” I still did go outside this morning and just stood out there looking off into the woods in the back yard. Finally I told myself that I have to get going and get ready for work. So it was back to the usual routine of getting ready….minus the let the dog in, give him his pills and feed him before I leave.
I just keep trying to remind myself to be thankful that he is not suffering anymore and that in the short time that we had him here, he was the best friend, comedian, play buddy and pet that one could ask for.
I am sure it will get easier with time, and someday I am going to get another golden that we can love and let into our family. My wife and I agree though that it will be sometime before that happens though. Nothing will ever replace the memories that I have of him. Up until a few weeks ago he was the happiest dog ever and it was hard to watch him go down hill so fast.
It is strange how my knee pain started as sudden as it did yesterday. It was like something was trying to tell me that I had to get home because the end was near for Cody. I am just glad that when I came home the first time yesterday I told him that I loved him before I walked out the door. It was almost like that is what he was waiting for, Dad to tell him he was loved and to see me one last time before saying “Ok I cant do this anymore.”
He will forever be remembered and loved in our hearts and memories. I know right now he is playing with my grandma, and my best friend that passed on a few years back, chewing on huge bone, or chasing his tennis ball. He is at peace now and will forever be watching over my family.

So, my dear, sweet and wonderful puppy dog, Cody, has been sick for the past two months. It started with him throwing up a lot, then he stopped eating and it progressed to eating small amounts but getting uncontrolable diahrea. We've gone through so much carpet cleaner lately, I'm shocked Menards doesn't have it ready and waiting for us when we walk in the door.

Now, the first two weeks Cody was sick, we just thought he had an upset stomach or was eating to fast. So we decided to wait it out because his energy level wasn't affected and he still seemed fine.

After that, we decided to take him in because he wasn't improving at all and his energy level was really starting to drop. So he went to the vet who did some x-rays and ran a bunch of blood tests. They determined that he had an infection, although they couldn't tell us where it was, or how he got it. So we started two weeks of antibiotics that the vet was optimistic would help.

Two weeks later, we took him back in for another round of blood work and found that the infection had not gone away. While his blood work showed improvement, he still wasn't where he needed to be. So, we started two weeks of a much stronger (and more expensive) antibiotic that the vet was, yet again, optimistic would help.

Two weeks later, same thing, more blood work, improving, but not enough. So we did another two weeks of the stonger antibiotic. At this point, it was becoming clear, the vet was no longer as optimistic as before. Though he tried to pretend to be.

We took him again, two weeks later, and they did more blood work, but at this point, he was no longer improving, although he hadn't gotten worse. So the vet suggessted we take Cody to a specialist and even scheduled the appointment for us.

Now is the fun part. The specialist did all of his tests and found that Cody actually has lukemia, which is why the antibiotics we did for 6 weeks weren't helping enough.

Now, from what we were told, there are two kinds of lukemia, and the one that Cody has is actually treatable, which is good. But he will always have it and it can go into remission and come back multiple times throughout the rest of his life.

So we have started Cody's chemotherapy drugs treatment and we will have to take him back in again in two weeks. At that point, we will start taking everything one day at a time.

So, it is sad times for my family right now. But I am hoping that everything will work out fine, and my puppy will go into remission for a very, very, very long time. I refuse to let myself get to down over this horrible recent news because at this point, I dont' think I could handle it.